Next Life

In this life, I am a woman. In my next life, I'd like to come back as a bear. When you're a bear, you get to hibernate. You do nothing but sleep for six months. Yup, I could deal with that.

Before you hibernate, you're supposed to eat yourself stupid. I could deal with that, too.

When you're a girl bear, you birth your children (who are the size of walnuts) while you're sleeping and wake to cute, cuddly, partially grown cubs. I could DEFINATELY deal with that, too.

If you're a mama bear, everyone knows you mean business. You swat at anyone who bothers your cubs. If your cubs get out of line, you swat them too. Yup, I could deal with that, too.

If you're a bear, your mate EXPECTS you to wake up growling. He EXPECTS you to have hairy legs and excess body fat.

YUP, GONNA BE A BEAR.